SHOULD YOU DO A FIRST LOOK?
6 WAYS A FIRST LOOK CAN BENEFIT YOUR WEDDING DAY
If there is one thing you can do to make your wedding day better, it’s the first look. Every couple I’ve photographed who did a first look at their wedding never regrets doing it. In fact, they are extremely grateful for it.
First of all, what is a first look? Simply put, a first look is a growing modern tradition in which the bride and groom see each other in private for the first time before the ceremony. What makes it special is that it’s an intimate and emotional moment between you and your fiance that you otherwise wouldn’t have during any other part of your entire wedding day. Most first looks only last about 5 to 10 minutes, but the photographs I create of this beautiful moment are some of the most cherished. How a first look greatly benefits you and your wedding is also worth considering. So let’s look at six reasons you should consider doing a first look on your wedding day.
1 - The first look allows you to enjoy the moment and each other.
All too often weddings focus more on other people and their opinions than the ones who are committing themselves to one another. A first look helps to remind you that your wedding day is about you and your partner. Unlike the ceremony, you won’t have eyes and a sea of smartphone cameras pointed at you as you make your way down the aisle. You won’t have to worry about holding a smile while thinking about whether your hair and makeup is all intact, and that the train of your wedding dress is properly spread. These distractions won’t be around to take your focus away from the person you’re about to marry.
When you see each other for the first time during your first look, you actually get to casually talk to and touch one another. Compliment each other. Share an embrace. Steal a kiss. Have a conversation, smiling together and soaking in the fact that you’re sharing one last raw emotional moment before you’re officially married. Enjoy this intimate moment because these are things you won’t get to do when you meet each other at the top of the aisle during the ceremony.
While a first look is a wonderful photographic opportunity, I fully recognize the importance of this moment. It may very well be the only time you spend alone together for the rest of the day, so I am always mindful of arranging a first look in a way that is suspenseful and special for just the two of you. It is important for me that this moment is a memorable and emotional encounter that you will never tire of reliving through the photos I capture.
2 - Your couple’s session portraits will come out better when you’re more relaxed.
Portrait sessions often require some time flexibility, which is something a wedding schedule can’t usually accommodate after the ceremony. Consider not only the abundance of time you have before the ceremony, but also the relaxed and casual vibe early in the day when you’re surrounded by your immediate family and best friends who make up your bridal party. Most wedding ceremonies typically start at around 4pm. Every hour before then has so much more flexibility to maximize the quality of the time you spend perfecting your hair and makeup, hanging out with your wedding party, and of course, getting your pictures taken with those freshly finished hairstyles, makeup, flowers and wardrobes.
By scheduling your first look at least 2 to 3 hours before the scheduled ceremony, I can get the wedding party portraits (bridesmaids & groomsmen), couple’s portraits, and perhaps even the formal family portraits out of the way. We will also have plenty of time to “play” with creative on-location portraits that are much less likely to be affected by unexpected scheduling changes. The quality of your portraits will be better when you’re relaxed and not as tired from standing from the ceremony. There won’t be any pressure of keeping guests waiting nor will there be a wedding coordinator constantly reminding you of how much time you have left before you need to be someplace else. However, if you still want to take additional bride & groom portraits during cocktail hour for sunset photos, that is still very much an option.
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3 - Cramming all your portrait sessions after the ceremony can be very limiting.
Once your wedding ceremony begins, the rest of your wedding day will go by so quickly as you check off formality after formality. One of the most time-consuming formalities are all the portrait sessions: wedding party session, couple’s session, and formal family portraits. Importantly, these portraits are arguably the most valuable images of your entire wedding photo collection.
If you choose not to do a first look and instead see each other for the first time at the ceremony, these portrait sessions will be conducted immediately after. This is the default post-ceremony schedule for most weddings and is certainly doable. However, the available time after the ceremony that we would have for portraits is limited by the length of the cocktail hour. In other words, we would only have that one hour after the ceremony to consecutively do the formal family portraits, wedding party portraits, and the couple’s portraits. Talk about a time crunch! And because we are pressed for time, stress levels are higher, and time for creativity is lower.
By doing the wedding party and couple’s sessions before the ceremony, that leaves just the formal family portraits to complete after the ceremony. There will be less rush, and you can transition into your cocktail hour afterwards to mingle with your guests. The formal family portraits are typically scheduled immediately after the ceremony by default as it’s easier to guarantee the presence of all family members who are to be photographed, which would otherwise not be as feasible before the ceremony. Though if we can manage the formal family portraits before the ceremony as well, all the better.
4 - A first look gives a busy wedding schedule room to breathe.
Based on my experience, weddings are full of moving parts beyond our control that rarely ever falls perfectly in place. The church has a time limit. Your limo is waiting. Someone has to go fetch your grandma who isn’t present for family photos. The structure of your wedding schedule starts to take its toll on your sanity as you stand on your feet for much longer than you’d like. Here are a few other things you may have to consider if you choose to wait until after the ceremony to do your portraits:
Lack of abundant and relaxed free time for creative bride and groom portraits.
Event coordinators will constantly check in to remind you that your scheduled entrance at the start of the reception is fast approaching.
You won’t be able to spend a meaningful amount of time with all of your guests who are all eager to congratulate you.
You won’t be able to fully enjoy your reception dinner because your guests will line up to greet you at your table for selfies.
You will also need to put time aside during dinner to go around greeting your guests at each table since you didn’t get the chance at cocktail hour.
A wedding can certainly still be enjoyable without a first look despite everything I stated above. But it’s more difficult, yet very important, to plan accordingly if you want to minimize the risk of a stressful time crunch among other uncontrollable factors that prevent you from having memorable moments with your friends and family.
If you do a first look and get the important portraits out of the way, you will have time to mingle with your guests during the cocktail hour. Take all those selfies with them. Devour those hors d'oeuvres. Enjoy a bit of alcohol. Laugh out loud and enjoy the company. This is quality time with your guests that brief table greetings during the reception just won’t match. Even the candid photos of the cocktail hour will benefit from having you included in them. You will feel that much more present at your own wedding when you’re enjoying yourself in the company of your guests.
5 - The wedding ceremony will be a better experience
A common concern about seeing each other before the ceremony is how it will impact your experience during the wedding ceremony. Rest assured that I’ve witnessed brides and grooms who still cry like babies during the processional.
With the wedding jitters and anxiety of seeing each other for the first time out of the way, you may find that you will better appreciate the importance of the wedding ceremony. The formality of making the marriage official in front of all your loved ones is always a prominent and exciting experience.
The feelings never go away. Seeing each other privately before the ceremony is a completely separate scenario from the officiality of a wedding ceremony. Each situation inspires their own feelings of euphoria depending on whether or not you’re in the presence of your best friends and closest family members. Either way, both experiences are joyous and memorable. Based on my experience, weddings are full of moving parts beyond our control that rarely ever falls perfectly in place. The church has a time limit. Your limo is waiting. Someone has to go fetch your grandma who isn’t present for family photos. The structure of your wedding schedule starts to take its toll on your sanity as you stand on your feet for much longer than you’d like. Here are a few other things you may have to consider if you choose to wait until after the ceremony to do your portraits:
Lack of abundant and relaxed free time for creative bride and groom portraits.
Event coordinators will constantly check in to remind you that your scheduled entrance at the start of the reception is fast approaching.
You won’t be able to spend a meaningful amount of time with all of your guests who are all eager to congratulate you.
You won’t be able to fully enjoy your reception dinner because your guests will line up to greet you at your table for selfies.
You will also need to put time aside during dinner to go around greeting your guests at each table since you didn’t get the chance at cocktail hour.
A wedding can certainly still be enjoyable without a first look despite everything I stated above. But it’s more difficult, yet very important, to plan accordingly if you want to minimize the risk of a stressful time crunch among other uncontrollable factors that prevent you from having memorable moments with your friends and family.
If you do a first look and get the important portraits out of the way, you will have time to mingle with your guests during the cocktail hour. Take all those selfies with them. Devour those hors d'oeuvres. Enjoy a bit of alcohol. Laugh out loud and enjoy the company. This is quality time with your guests that brief table greetings during the reception just won’t match. Even the candid photos of the cocktail hour will benefit from having you included in them. You will feel that much more present at your own wedding when you’re enjoying yourself in the company of your guests.
6 - Your wedding will not have a tradition based on arranged marriages
The first look breaks away from the tradition of the bride and groom seeing each other for the first time during the wedding ceremony. What many couples today may not know is that it is rooted in the days of arranged marriages. This antiquated practice fostered the superstition that it’s bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other at any point before the wedding ceremony. It was primarily a business dealing between the bride and groom’s families that often involved a dowry. If the groom rejected the bride because she wasn’t beautiful enough for him, it could result in financial ramifications as well as resentment between the families. As you can see, this tradition is utterly devoid of romance, and has been well overdue for a more meaningful and appropriate tradition fit for the modern world.
So I highly encourage you to consider a first look to make your wedding more meaningful to your story rather than to satisfy a forgotten tradition that involves the possibility of financial ruin.
It’s about being more present and having fun than sticking to a timeline and checking off a list of formalities.
Time and time again, couples have expressed their gratitude for convincing them to do a first look. It’s the one moment in their day they never knew they really needed, and they have a better day because of it. It’s not necessarily just about improving your wedding schedule. It’s about how an improved schedule as a result of a first look makes your wedding day a better experience for you and your guests. It’s about being more present and having fun than sticking to a timeline and checking off a list of formalities.
However, if you still prefer to see each other for the first time during the ceremony, I will respect your wishes and still create amazing photos on your wedding day. While I can only provide recommendations based on experience, no situation is impossible to work through. Ultimately it is all about you and what you want for your wedding day.
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